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Your friends may be tired of hearing about your twenty-minute hot yoga workout or crunchy breakfast cereal, but we're sure these snippets from #Self will make them laugh!

“Nerds are great at keeping it real.”
“Some people see checking in as pointless, creepy or asking for stalkers. These people are correct. They're also the ones who skip class and don't talk about it. But for the rest of you ditchers, there's foursquare.”
“If you want to experiment with 1972 Polaroid, then whip out some baby photos and enjoy the nostalgia. There's nothing more ridiculous than a picture of yourself holding an iPhone, with a filter that makes it seem like you've just watched the first moon landing.”
“Listing the entire lineup from Coachella as your favorite bands doesn't automatically make you cool.”
“Find someone British to make babies with – those accents are moneymakers.”
“You've probably tried it all when it comes to online dating – from Craigslist hook-ups and webcam introductions to cybersex and possibly even Russian brides.”
“Your parents have cataracts and probably couldn't find a carton of milk in a fridge full of cows. Yet somehow they've found you. On Facebook. And they have no shortage of embarrassing baby photos to share.”
“Malls are giant, festering warehouses of the world's most annoying people under one roof. Online, none of these people get in your way. No perfume spritzers, kiosk peddlers, religious flyer-distributors and definitely no idiot in the parking lot who steals your space.”
“How to move on after being blocked? Take a breath and repeat after me: “It's only Facebook.”
“No one wants to follow a melancholy self-promoter who swears like a sailor. Well, aside from Charlie Sheen.”